Yoga Commentary from the Unenlightened.

Last night Lyndsey took me to a Yoga class, something I've been meaning to do to get some added strength and especially flexibility, but just haven't gotten around to doing. She once again took care of me by bringing me a yoga mat. Everytime I try something new with Lyndsey I am grossly underprepared and everytime she's managed to save my ass (goggles? Why do I need goggles to learn to swim?).

My feelings on Yoga are somewhat mixed. I enjoy the stretching, strength, and mental concentration, and I also see how it is something you must practice and really treat as a discipline rather than just a gym class. I like focusing on a pose and attempting to quiet my ever-racing mind, a near impossibility, of various to-do lists, stresses, and plans.

However, I think part of me will never be able to fully embrace Yoga because, quite frankly, I'm not a very spiritual person. I'm not talking about religion, because I believe that one can be non-religious and entirely spiritual (and vice-versa). But I have never in my adult life considered myself to be spiritual. I have known plenty of people that I would put in that category, people who seem to understand and co-exist with energy, forces and emotions outside of the fact and fiction scientific world to which I am tethered. I gravitate towards things that are explainable by science, physics, etc., even if it takes a much smarter individual to understand these theories. I do not identify with things which are not at least subject to explanation (perhaps this dates back to the discovery that Santa was not real. I learned my lesson in believing in something that defied rationalization!). I need to know why, or at least know that there is some rationalization, even if it hasn’t been fully explained. It's why my pet peeve is when someone tells me everything is going to be all right, but then doesn't back it up with any sort of reasoning. I can't accept that things will just work out. I need evidence. I need a memo outlining the justifications. With citations. I cannot just have faith that things will be okay. And I know plenty of people that live and breathe in the world of scientific fact that I would consider to be very spiritual people, thus I'm not designating a line between spiritual and scientific, though that's may be how I'm coming across (probably because my lack of identifying with the spiritual in the first place results in me not truly understanding what it means to be spiritual). I think that some people are more in touch with themselves emotionally than others, and it is through this connection and openness that they can experience a more spiritual existence. I am still working on making that emotional connection with myself, something which I assume comes easier to those who are able to be more in touch with their spiritual nature. Thus, I believe the spiritual nature of Yoga shall, at least for now, elude me.

For now, yoga acts to stretch and strengthen my body, and temper the reasoning and constant analysis running through my mind. It calms me and forces my brain to slow down, but I don't know that I'll ever reach the sort of higher enlightenment that some people seem to find through their practice. And that is acceptable to me, I just believe that I will always have an unintentional self imposed limit on what I can attain from the practice.

Part of my original purpose in this soliloquy was to apologize in advance for my commentary on any Yoga experiences I may share. I understand the spiritual importance that many gain from such practice, and while I may never attain such a level of proficiency, I do respect it. That being said, I cannot fight my innate tendency to comment on the appearance and behavior of those around me, as well as my own personal deprecation for considering myself a strong runner yet not being able to hold downward dog for more than 2 minutes without crumbling into child's pose (aka curling up on the floor and crying). So tune in next time for some reflections on a Non-Yogi, infiltrating a Yogi world.

However, for now I have rambled on for far longer than anyone truly signed on for when they clicked the link over to read my blog (most likely on accident). Additionally, this has strayed quite far from my training into the realms of personal exploration and philosophy. Apologies and I promise to attempt brevity in my future. Unless I'm actually funny.