TGIF

Thurs – Gym
Fri – 50 mins in pool

So I am doing a completely different routine in the gym as of about a week ago and I can totally feel the difference. I really need to work on changing up my routine every 6 weeks or so because I can get far too comfortable with the same exercises and increasing weight or reps doesn't really fire me up or create an exciting challenge. To get through my whole routine (which involves exercises geared towards strengthening me for swimming, as well as some new strength exercises to get me running again) it takes me at least an hour. And I'm pretty beat afterwards.

Rocked out at the pool this morning and am enjoying that I am getting more comfortable. It still doesn't feel natural to swim, but I can see how eventually it will be. Hopefully. But surprisingly I actually enjoy getting up in the morning and going to the pool. Part of it is that the pool is really warm (yes I swim in the old person pool and not the competition pool or whatever that cold one is called. It's 6:30 am, cut me some damn slack.) Anyhoo, I officially swam 50yds without dying. And I did it multiple times. I also did some 25's with really short recovery in between. And a lot of basically getting from one end of the pool to the other while minimizing how much of a spaz I looked like.

Also I'm in a fantabulous mood because my knee hasn’t been hurting at all for the last couple days. Now I have to qualify that because my PT beat the shit out of it so it's sore and bruised, but in terms of pain from walking around or any aching when sitting at my desk, nuthin'. And I haven't heard a peep from my other knee which was starting to give me trouble. And I think if I hadn't had this whole swimming thing keeping me busy on the mornings when I haven't gone to the gym, I probably would have tried going for a jog by now. So I'm glad that swimming has distracted me enough that I have had a couple completely pain free days without trying to run.

But patience only lasts so long. Tomorrow is the big day. I'm going for a jog. 10 mins. Test it out. See what happens. If things go well, I will be in a great mood for the rest of the weekend. If things hurt. I'm going to be pissed. However, I do have to remind myself I've only been doing some of my hip strengthening exercises for a week now and its going to take TIME and PATIENCE before the effects of those exercises take hold.
It's 5:00pm. I think its time to make my get away from the office, grab some smores makin' materials and hit up moonlight beach :)

Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls, just stick to the Boys and Girls Club pool that you're used to.

As I pressed my face to the mic and heard our collective voices belting out TLC's Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls, I couldn't help but think there was no chance in hell I was going to be rolling out of bed at 6:15 in the morning for another pathetic go of "swimming."

Despite my skepticism, I set the alarm before turning in a little after midnight. When the alarm goes off in the morning and I have to go to the gym or go for a run, that's a little more manageable. It might be cold, but at least its dry. And at least I can pick up a weight or run a mile without falling or finding myself unable to breathe. But to hear the beeping of my alarm and consider going from warm flannel sheets to a wet pool before the sun is even up…motivation is hard to muster. Even as I was getting out of bed, putting on my swimsuit and warm-up pants, I still couldn't believe I was actually going to end up at the pool. And be wet. And cold. Yet within half an hour there I stood, in my black training swimsuit, teal swim cap and pink goggles, one toe in the water realizing I've come this far, might as well go for it.

I have discovered some neat tricks for warning people of my amateur status. First, I like to spend a lot of time with a kickboard. It is my way of saying "Hey, I still need a flotation device to get from one end of the pool to the other. Just ignore me." I chose the kickboard over floaties on my arm because I figured I could only leave so much pride at the door. Another nice thing about the kickboard is I can do anything and pretty much just pretend it’s a drill. Who knows, maybe I actually was doing some real swimming drills. But the way I figure it, if I'm doing something wrong people will just think I'm really cool and know some new amazing drills that are hip and edgy.

I managed to do two lengths of the pool (laps? I feel like a lap should always be circular. I have a hard time calling a straight line a lap.) with the kickboard during my warm up. For my workout I did 12 x 25yds (1 lap). Jim told me to only take something like 15 seconds in between but I'll be honest there was no way that was going to happen. I have no idea what kind of break I took. I pretty much waited till I thought I could go again with dying in the first 10 yrds. Maybe next time I'll keep better track of recovery.

I do believe that I am improving. For instance, no one commented today on that fact that I was struggling or looked "uncomfortable." I didn't have flotation devices hurled at me from the edge of the pool out of fear that I was drowning. And no mothers hid their children's eyes while telling them that some people just aren't born "right." So all in all a good day.

I'm smoothing out a little. I think I'm a little less choppy and my breathing is more discreet. I still sound like I’m about to die when I recover at each end of the pool, but that’s just going to take time. For now, I'm starting to get into it, and I can see how swimming can be an enjoyable experience. As I was swimming the sun slowly rose over the pool and I felt the warmth of the sun breaking through the cool crisp morning. I could almost compare it to going out for a run. Almost.

However, I do have to start going home to take a shower. Showering at the pool didn't quite do the job, and I've smelt like chlorine for the entire day.

Ever seen Garden State? The scene where Zach Braff tries to swim?

I'll have to post regarding the status of my knees and my whole change of plan for training, but for now, I've discovered that so far swimming doesn't bother things too much, and the experience of Julie learning to swim is far too funny and pathetic not to share with the world. So enjoy.

I'm learning to swim. I've been wanted to do a tri and I know I'll have a hard time giving up running/biking time for swimming, especially at this early on stage where pretty much every stroke and breath is a struggle. Now when I say I'm learning to swim, I mean, like, square one, I have no idea how to do the whole breathing and swimming thing. Suffice it to say, it's a struggle. Just yesterday I managed to consistently swim about 25 yds without stopping and/or dying. That's like someone saying they managed to run a lap around the track without stopping. In terms of swimming, I'm the fat high school freshman who everyone has to wait for to finish the timed mile. My goal for the next week or two is to swim a hundred without stopping. In my mind, this is the equivalent of running a mile without stopping. And I'm at the point where I'm not sure how likely a possibility that is, given my current level of skill. I now really understand people that start running and have such a hard time getting into it. It's such a damn struggle in the beginning. And its very public. I mean, I have people coming up to me trying to give me tips cause I seriously look like I'm about to die. One guy told me I looked like I was "struggling." Thanks dude. What tipped you off? Me flailing and gasping for air or when I sunk to the bottom of the pool cause I inhaled a gallon of water? I have to leave any and all pride I have in my gym bag whenever I step foot in a lane. Even worse, it's like trying to learn to run during a track practice. Everyone knows what they are doing and they can damn well tell you are an outsider. Especially when you trip and fall every 20 meters or so.

In running you can breathe whenever you want. Tired? Take more breaths. Or maybe one long deep breath. Or just slow your breathing down a bit if you are getting too worked up. There are so many glorious options! Swimming is not that simple. And that would be because most of the time your face is underwater. I unfortunately sometimes get too excited to breathe and jump the gun. We all know where that leads. I also get really freaking tired because, as I mentioned before, I am the equivalent of a HS obese freshman. That means the whole three strokes and one breath things isn't yet a reality for me.

I also, from what observers have reported, tend to bring myself to a stop whenever I come up for air. Therefore, I can only imagine I must look like someone who is trying to drive stick for the first time, and every time they change gear they lurch then stall. Except the car also sinks a couple feet into the asphalt when it stalls. So i'm kinda like someone learning to drive stick over quicksand.

Apparently, despite having strong legs from being a runner, I don't know how to use them in the pool. I may be the first person ever who when given a kickboard and told to put her head in the water and kick across the pool, and managed to go backwards. I don't even think that is possible based on known physics of the universe, but I somehow managed it. Worse, once Lyndsey, in hysterics, pointed out this fact to me, I started laughing so hard that I once again slipped underwater and snorted/choked down half of the pool.

My obvious skills have earned me the nickname "Anchor" (tho to be fair, it was given to me by someone who hadn't actually observed my swimming skills, only heard of them through the stories and tales that have spread across San Diego). However, I was reminded that the Anchor on a relay team is usually the fastest, so I am instead going to take it as a compliment.

In conclusion, I have a long way to go. However, I always get pissed when people go for a run and then say it sucks and quit. So despite the ridicule, odd looks, and pity from observers, I will continue going to the pool and flailing about. Plus, I look damn good in that swim cap and goggles.

Venting

So Friday I decided to try 4 mi before work. A mile into it I realized that I had no business attempting any more than 3 mi. I was jogging on the cliffs when I noticed the tide was ridiculously low. I rarely run on the beach but the hard packed sand and glistening water called to me. Considering I pretty knew this run wasn't going to be very worthwhile, I scaled down the cliffs where the surfers cut down to the beach. I finally managed to make it down and headed back to my place along the water. It was quite beautiful, and I would have been in wonderful spirits if not for that little spot down and to the inside of my knee reminding me that not only was I not able to make it to 5 miles today, but I def was not going to be running tomorrow.

Hit up the Gym on Saturday and am starting to like Frogs, which surprised me. I usually don't like big crowded gyms, but I got into a rhythm there and they have a nice little room with carpet and free weights in which I can do about 75% of my routine. Still getting used to the herds of fake boobs and the scary buff older women, but as long as i can get a little niche of space I should be fine.

Today has been a test of my determination to stay positive. I was wary about giving it another go on a run, as the knee wasn't feeling pain free yesterday and I'm really thinking I need to not run unless the previous day was a no pain day (note: definition of pain includes any inkling that there is inflammation. It does not hurt by any means, but its aggravated. Pain is just easier to type). So I decided to get a jump on some work i have to do before monday and feel things out before making a decision. Well, as the sun began warming up the day and the joggers and bikers merrily ran by my balcony, sitting at my desk and writing about legal ethics was not exactly thrilling. I made the mistake of deciding I'd at least change into running clothes and stretch things out. But it was gorgeous and it being later in the day meant I could rock a tank top and shorts. How could I not at least give it a go? I did EXTENSIVE stretching including my whole PT routine to really get things loose. I grabbed my sunglasses, laced up the shoes, and headed out. 

God it felt good. I know there are people who want to strangle me for comparing my run in a long sleeve shirt to one in a tank top as being a huge difference, but the sun on my arms and my face felt fantastic. Things felt ok for about 10 mins, but then i could feel things getting aggravated. I was only planning on going 3 mi and at one point I stopped, not because it was painful, but because i could still feel things flaring up. But I decided to just head in and ice a lot and hope I could maybe circumvent a huge flare up.

So I was pissed when I got home. Pissed because I just want to go on a long run. Pissed cause I should have had 25 mins of enjoyment and instead I was worried about my knee most of the time. And pissed cause if I don't get pissed then I'll start to get afraid. I haven't run longer than 60 mins in 2 years now, and only have run more than 30 mins within the last 5 months.  And nothing has been consistent. It's been slow build up followed by disappointment over and over again. I'm afraid I'll have another two years of struggling to do something that should be a normal natural part of my daily routine. 

So I had to control the panic that was threatening to ensue. I iced then strolled over to the beach and just sat and watched the ocean. I focused on all the things that are going good in my life and focused on the short term of getting better now and building up slow mileage now. I tried to purge my mind of 12 miles runs and fears of things that haven't even materialized. I've iced my knee a lot today, and its not aching for now. I have my PT appointment in two days where I'd like to discuss some potentially more drastic measures. And I'm calming the fuck down.

Recap: Day Off x 2

Took two days off to really bring the inflammation down since last time things flared up that worked pretty well. It's been getting progressively better over the last 48 hours so I'm feeling good about running tomorrow.  Gonna hit up 4 miles tomorrow before easing back into the 5 milers.

So yesterday I was a guest speaker for a running group. A friend of mine coaches a team and his guest speaker wasn't able to make it at the last minute, so the poor runners got me instead. As I strolled in one guy asked if I was a professional runner.  Uh, no I responded. But I was really good in High School. You could practically hear Bruce Springsteen crooning Glory Days in the background. 

Seriously though it was actually a good time. It was fun to talk about running and share my experiences with racing and strategy. Jim kept throwing some thought provoking questions at me, and it got me thinking how important running has been to me outside of the actual running part. Some of the closest people in my life I've met through running. I think there's a special bond between runners...a certain OCD obsessive passion that you've got to be a part of to really understand. So much of how I think about things and go through life has been dictated by my experiences with running, which isn't surprising considering its been such a dominate part of my life for so long now (at one point Jim pointed out that I've been running for half my life. wow. true.). And now I've met more runners here in SD and its been so wonderful to have friends that share that passion.  

So, in conclusion. Runners are good. 

Migraine: My doctor asked me to keep track of my migraines to see if there was any sort of trigger. Figure I'll never actually keep a log so I'll just record them here. Maybe if there's a correlation with running this will help track it. Migraine today at 10:45 A.M. Was uber stressed last week and this week have been feeling much more relaxed, so possibly attributable to coming down from being a stress ball.  Possibly dehydrated. Nothing abnormal in the coffee consumption (high, as always). Had medication but took longer for vision to return. No headache or naseau thanks to promptness of meds. Aurora was different than normal. Less shimmery and more just blocked vision, like certain parts of my field of vision just weren't transmitting the images to my brain. Time since last migraine - I think it's been almost 2 months.

Speed, Goals, and Mocha

5 mi - Mission Bay

I got a chance to run at Mission Bay this morning since I took mom to the airport. I rarely make it over there to run but it's always a treat. It's essentially a long flat path that winds through the grass park and over to fiesta island. Also flat. This is a great place to hammer out a run. I was flying for the first 15 mins or so, then I hit a bit of a wall and had to take it down a notch. Made me realize I should consider varying the pace on my runs (B mentioned this earlier but I havne't really followed up in my training) Took the last 10 mins or so pretty strong and felt really good afterwards.  I had to go straight to PT so i sat on the hood of my car for 10 mins or so and ate my breakfast that i brought and just watched the people running and the water. It was very calming. 

Not to be a downer but my knee was a little bothersome. I'm pretty sure it was residual from yesterday, and it actually has felt better than it did last night. My PT did a lot of work on it and did that electric whatever thing to it to reduce the inflammation. He isn't too worried considering its been getting progressively better. It's sore tonight but I can tell the diff between sore from running and sore because my PT was stretching and massaging stuff.  I'm going to take tomorrow off (will probably hit up the gym) and let everything settle down. I'm actually not too concerned, unlike in the past when I'd have a minor set back and flip. 

So I'm making some New Years Resolutions this year, and have been requested to actually write them down. This might be the part where people stop reading :-P  So here we go:

Health: 

Be SMART about my knee. Take days off even if I think I can push through a little bit of discomfort. Think Big Picture.

Cook dinner at least 3 times a week. This ones not too hard but I just want to make sure I don't get lazy. Cooking = actually making something and no pouring a bowl of cereal.

Bring healthy lunch from home for work at least 3 x a week. This allows for one day of going out and one day where there's a lunch meeting. This is going to involve cooking lunches at night. 

Relationships:

Make sure to call people more often. I know I talk with different people on different time frames, but there's no reason to go more than 3-4 weeks without at least a quick phone conversation to say hi.

VISIT friends in far away place. I know I have to be dedicated to work, but I can still make plans to visit people.

Parents - Now that I've moved out its easy to accidentally go without seeing either of my parents for long periods of time. Plan dinner dates during the week.

Running:

First Marathon May 30, 2009. Recognize that there will most likely be set backs and that the most important thing is being healthy. But, get ready to rock.

First Half Marathon April 2009. Again, depending on health. But really think this might be m ideal racing distance so would absolutely love to get out and dominate this race. 

Gym - maintain strength work despite the fact that once distance increases I'm going to have to go after work. Make the necessary sacrifices to get to the gym, even if it might be more fun to get a beer. 

Life:

Get Help - I need to work on not being afraid or too proud to ask for help. It's always been a challenge for me. I need to stop being worried about looking dumb or being sure that I can do everything on my own. Sometimes I am dumb, sometimes I can't do it on my own, and sometimes I can, but don't need to, so am going to work on reaching out more. 

Mini Cooper - Ok this one is dumb but I promised that I'd write it down. At some point this year I'd like to trade in my car for a mini cooper (that will actually fit in my garage!) and do it without extra cost (all things considered). We'll see....

Ok I think there were more, but right now my doggie is visiting and she'd like some attention so we are going to go cuddle and watch West Wing. 

Sappy Running Ramblings

5 mi - South to TP

Really was not feeling the whole getting up thing this morning. Usually I wake up a bit before my alarm due to that internal clock I've got going but this morning my running watch totally tore me out of a dream (Apparently I was horse-sitting the winner of the Triple Crown. Weird.). But once I hit the road things felt great. It's starting to warm up a bit in the mornings which is nice. Knee felt a little sore later today at work, but I think its cause I kept sitting funny as I was typing. When my knee starts to feel better I tend to forget about posture and stuff while at work, thus aggravating it again. Bad Julie.

Today I was in a pretty awesome mood though. Good run to start things off, a good day at work, and overall just reflecting on a fun weekend has put me in a positive mood. Which is nice considering I feel like last month I was up and down dealing with work, my knee, moving, and general spaziness. I feel very settled and happy right now. Things are good :) Sometimes my mood can totally hinge on one or two things, but being able to run consistently again has really kept me even in my temperament. It's this aspect of my life that steadies me. There are so many things in life that can get out of control: Work, family, relationships, etc, that just to know I can go out and hammer some miles makes the rest easier to deal with when things get chaotic. 

Ok, that's all for now. Eventually I gotta discuss my racing plans for this spring...but that'll be another day.